The Christmas Thread

10Likes Join DateNov 2005LocationStanding Above WeaknessPosts10,210Blog Entries2

Love it or hate it, this is the place you can post your thoughts, memories, holiday wishes, travel plans, holiday recipes (let's get a good egg nog recipe), complain about the crowds and annoying family, favorite holiday movie clips/quotes, post pics of your trees, songs.. you get the idea.

Lemme get this thing started..

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Christmas day always flies by at my house. We wake up, do gifts with the kids, and get right to work because we always host dinner with the whole family.

I used to get pretty annoyed because I wanted to relax and spend time with the kids but I like doing it now. My sister in law always gets hammered on my egg nog, my mother in law drinks whiskey with me, and my brother in law eats himself into a coma and falls asleep in the basement.

Looking forward to it.

Join DateNov 2005LocationStanding Above WeaknessPosts10,210Blog Entries2Join DateMay 2010LocationBack in AfghanistanPosts21,797

i always suspected that santa clause was a fraud. so me and my neighborhood buddies (we were about six) compared the signatures of santa left on the various presents left on the gifts at the various households. when we found incongruities (anyone find this word i'm using a bit on the "familar" side?), then moms explained that Santa really doesn't sign all the to/from labels, it's actually his helpers that do the signing...

...and oh, by the way, don't tell your buddies, since they probably don't know and now that you are a "big boy" we felt you could handle this top secret information.....

Join DateNov 2005LocationStanding Above WeaknessPosts10,210Blog Entries2Join DateMay 2010LocationBack in AfghanistanPosts21,797

Christmas day always flies by at my house. We wake up, do gifts with the kids, and get right to work because we always host dinner with the whole family.

I get pretty annoyed because I wanted to relax and sit on my ass that day, spending time with the kids. My sister in law always gets hammered on my egg nog, my mother in law drinks whiskey with me, and my brother in law eats himself into a coma and falls asleep in the basement.

Looking forward to it.

you need to get arthritas in your back like me, that way, you can tell your family that your recliner is more of a theraputic remedy than an actual way to "just sit on your ass"

....c'mon mate. try and keep up, will ya? =)

Join DateMay 2013Locationthe mirrorPosts1,977

I don't have any at the momnt but I will get back with you

Join DateNov 2005LocationStanding Above WeaknessPosts10,210Blog Entries2

Join DateNov 2005LocationStanding Above WeaknessPosts10,210Blog Entries2

you need to get arthritas in your back like me, that way, you can tell your family that your recliner is more of a theraputic remedy than an actual way to "just sit on your ass"

....c'mon mate. try and keep up, will ya? =)

I may have to pull my back shoveling on xmas eve.. nice one TR

Join DateJan 2013LocationProvidence Rhode IslandPosts45

You will shot your eye out kid

Join DateSep 2011Posts11,688

how bout a non-alcoholic egg nog recipe??

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here u go buddy

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Sam hell you say you won it?

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I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time!!

Join DateSep 2010LocationEast CoastPosts10,267

how bout a non-alcoholic egg nog recipe??What would anyone do with that?

Join DateJan 2013LocationProvidence Rhode IslandPosts45Join DateSep 2011Posts11,688

What would anyone do with that?ummmmm................. drink it?? ive never had egg nog even when i drank BTW

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ur welcome!

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I was probably pre-teens and I had a wonderful habit of using a razor blade to open all my gift before Xmas so that I knew what I was getting. This particular year I opened my gifts. They consisted of the usual socks, shirts, skivvies etc.

Then the big heavy one. I carefully sliced the tape at the overlap so I could then cover up my handy work with an exact sized piece of tape. I carefully unfolded the paper and opened the box. There it was, an old ass, used, typewriter! I was pissed!!! I wrapped the piece of shit up and hated Xmas ever since!!!!!!!!! A typewriter....really!???

Join DateNov 2005LocationStanding Above WeaknessPosts10,210Blog Entries2

ummmmm................. drink it?? ive never had egg nog even when i drank BTWOh man you don't know what you're missing. Got carried away a few years back and drank it (2 parts brandy, 1 part cognac, dash of nog) from Thanksgiving to Xmas.. mm-mm its good stuff. Sprinkle a bit of cinnamon on top and.. that's Christmas.

Join DateSep 2011Posts11,688

Oh man you don't know what you're missing. Got carried away a few years back and drank it (2 parts brandy, 1 part cognac, dash of nog) from Thanksgiving to Xmas.. mm-mm its good stuff. Sprinkle a bit of cinnamon on top and.. that's Christmas.i bet it is good but i no longer drink alcohol..

Join DateMay 2013Locationthe mirrorPosts1,977

Merry Christmas to everyone on the forum, except the trolls.

Join DateSep 2011Posts11,688

I was probably pre-teens and I had a wonderful habit of using a razor blade to open all my gift before Xmas so that I knew what I was getting. This particular year I opened my gifts. They consisted of the usual socks, shirts, skivvies etc.

Then the big heavy one. I carefully sliced the tape at the overlap so I could then cover up my handy work with an exact sized piece of tape. I carefully unfolded the paper and opened the box. There it was, an old ass, used, typewriter! I was pissed!!! I wrapped the piece of shit up and hated Xmas ever since!!!!!!!!! A typewriter....really!???

one year when i was like 11-12 yrs old, i decided i could not take it anymore and stole one of my presents from under the tree. it was the Legend of Zelda for the Nintendo. i never got caught. having parents that clueless did not help my juvenile deliquency!

Join DateMar 2013Posts350Join DateNov 2005LocationStanding Above WeaknessPosts10,210Blog Entries2

I was probably pre-teens and I had a wonderful habit of using a razor blade to open all my gift before Xmas so that I knew what I was getting. This particular year I opened my gifts. They consisted of the usual socks, shirts, skivvies etc.

Then the big heavy one. I carefully sliced the tape at the overlap so I could then cover up my handy work with an exact sized piece of tape. I carefully unfolded the paper and opened the box. There it was, an old ass, used, typewriter! I was pissed!!! I wrapped the piece of shit up and hated Xmas ever since!!!!!!!!! A typewriter....really!???

I'll bet you no one knows what skivvies are.. I do though. My grandfather always used to yell to my grandmother.. Evelyn, get me my skivvy shirt! haha..

Man what a sh*tty present. A typewriter. Christmas wasn't a huge ordeal at my house either when I was a kid. For some reason though, I always loved it.. never got awesome gifts or anything. Same as you, some clothes, toys when I was real little. My grandfather used to get me and my cousin some cool stuff like BMX bikes. He always got us cool stuff. Loved the time off from school.

My wife came here from southeast Asia when she was 8 and her family never celebrated it. But when we had kids it was all over.. Christmas is a huge deal now, we need to be careful not to go ape sh*t on gifts for the kids. But lots of lights, decorations, awesome tree.. we put lot into it actually. Love this season.

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i bet it is good but i no longer drink alcohol.. its good without the alcohol too.. kind of thick though so you can cut it with a dash of milk Merry Christmas to everyone on the forum, except the trolls.Merry Christmas Chad! one year when i was like 11-12 yrs old, i decided i could not take it anymore and stole one of my presents from under the tree. it was the Legend of Zelda for the Nintendo. i never got caught. having parents that clueless did not help my juvenile deliquency! Classic.. one year I peaked at all my gifts too (I must have been 6 or 7) and on Christmas morning, I didn't get one of the toys I spotted when I peaked so I asked about it. I remember my dad just going into his room and bringing it out and handing it to me.. never called me out about peaking lol.

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Can I get you any more egg nog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?

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Can I get you any more egg nog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?Bahahah...my favorite line in the movie followed by "shitters full" lol. I wish I could memorize Clarks rant about his boss.

Join DateJun 2012Posts315Join DateApr 2008Posts19,882

I like the line from Griswold Vacation where the 13yr old cousin says,
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey: So, everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

Last edited by lovbyts; Yesterday at 10:39 PM.

Join DateJun 2012Posts315

One of my shirts. Lol

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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols".

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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

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